Partner choice: stages in the relationship

There is no manual for a successful relationship. It is possible to predict the success of a relationship by looking carefully at the stages in the relationship and how they progress. Every relationship follows a certain pattern. This starts with carefully exploring the other person and each other’s interests and ultimately results in a strong relationship in which people have definitively chosen each other, are monogamous and are very committed to each other.

Stages in the relationship

It is important to keep in mind that not all couples go through the stages of the relationship and they do not go through them in the same order. Every relationship is unique and follows its own path. Some insight into the stages that most relationships go through provides insight into relationships and various relationship patterns and habits .

Stage 1: Meeting expectations

If you don’t know a man or woman well yet, you will do your utmost to come out as best as possible. You treat yourself and your (future) partner to a beautiful appearance, beautiful clothes and a wonderfully smelling perfume. When you go on a date with someone, you do this because you have certain expectations of this date and the person in question. You think you will get along well with the person because he or she seems to have certain characteristics that you find attractive.

Stage 2: Getting to know each other

, getting to know each other is on the to-do list. You have now had a number of dates that have always been very enjoyable on both sides. However, many dates are quite superficial and do not immediately delve into depth. Logically, you have only just met each other! Yet at some point the stage of getting to know each other better arrives.
Many people only start to take the relationship seriously when the other person shows serious interest in their activities, health, career, future and the like. Involvement and interest can manifest themselves in various ways. This can take the form of providing a glass of water and paracetamol when the other person has a headache or advising the other person when making a difficult choice. However, it is important not to get too serious straight away, as this can also deter a future partner. It may also happen that you discover at this stage that you are not a good fit for each other or that the other person turns out to be different than you expected.

Stage 3: needs and lifestyle

During subsequent dates, in addition to factual knowledge about each other, they also learn a lot about the other person’s needs and lifestyle. In this phase most relationships are continued or terminated . This can also be after the first sex session(s). Common interests and a somewhat similar plan for the future are quite important for the success or failure of a relationship.

Stage 4: steady courtship

After completing stage 3, some couples enter the ‘steady courtship’ phase; an old-fashioned concept that still covers the meaning of the relationship. In practice, however, steady dating only means that a man and a woman regularly see each other and meet up . In this phase, the man often really starts to think about whether he really likes a relationship with the woman.

Stage 5: Romance

After a number of dates, many potential couples turn to romance: the couple starts courting each other. Many women find this the most enjoyable phase of the relationship phases because they really feel desired. At this stage it is important that you give each other the space to win the other over .

Stage 6: comfort

In stage 6, people start to feel more and more comfortable with the other person . People get used to each other and pretend to be less and less like someone else. In this phase people really start to become themselves . Even at this stage, it may still happen that you are not a good fit for each other. This phase is very important, as accepting each other as you are is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
This stage is usually characterized by a number of striking features :

  • People no longer call before visiting each other
  • People expect to see each other on a regular basis
  • The presence of each other is becoming increasingly self-evident
  • People start to feel at home in the other person’s house and become increasingly free (for example by pouring themselves a drink)


Independence and independence

No matter how much you love the other person, make sure you let your own life go on. Nothing is more annoying than a partner who completely subordinates himself to you and threatens to lose his own life .

Stage 7: early set

The most important phase in a relationship is the moment when you both decide “Yes, we are a couple!”. At this point you are both making commitments to each other. Successful couples share three important qualities:

  1. Monogamy
  2. Stand behind each other
  3. Do nothing



When you enter into a serious relationship with each other, you will have to say goodbye to your carefree and free life , in which you could do whatever you want and with whom.

Stand behind each other

The partner becomes the first priority . Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should skip all the other things that you find important or anything like that. The most important thing is that you are there for each other and support each other through thick and thin . Successful couples dare to stand up to outside attacks on the relationship and the partner , such as disapproving family members.

Do nothing

This may sound strange, but successful couples can also do nothing together very well. Just being together is enough for a day full of entertainment, it does not necessarily require expensive dinners and trips to have fun together.

Stage 8: the regular couple

Committed couples exhibit a high degree of commitment to each other . This is expressed, among other things, in affection (physical attention such as hugging and holding hands), sharing secrets and involvement . These qualities will develop over the course of the relationship and grow into strong qualities.

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