Although as a father you do not literally carry the child with you, you are connected to the child from the very beginning for the rest of your life. This can bring about feelings of happiness, but also confusion or fear. This is not strange, after all, you are about to have a baby and become a father!
Contact with the baby
It may sound a bit strange to you, contact with the baby before birth?! However, you cannot start early enough, because babies in the womb are already aware of their surroundings, albeit to a limited extent. When babies are 5 to 6 months old, they can already hear sounds from outside the womb. When you talk to the baby, the baby will hear you and respond to you. The baby hears your voice even better than the mother’s!
You can make contact with the baby in the belly in various ways . For example, you can massage the mother’s belly and feel the baby move. When you place your head against your stomach you can sometimes even listen to the heartbeat.
It is important that you give the baby a name as soon as possible, if necessary a pet name if you have not yet agreed on the choice of name. This way the baby becomes an individual and you can slowly but surely start a relationship with him or her and get used to the idea.
Emotions
It’s not just anything, from one moment to the next you are not only your wife’s partner, but also the father of the child she carries in her belly! This will be a very strange sensation at first, especially because visually not much has changed about the woman. Being a dad-to-be becomes a lot more concrete when your wife starts showing the physical signs of pregnancy.
Don’t be concerned if you find out that you don’t have the same feelings as your wife. Although having a child together is a special event, it does not spontaneously make two people into one person and so you will both have different feelings.
It can happen that your enthusiasm suddenly turns into fear and doubt. Is this really what you want? What will your life be like after birth? Are you able to provide for a family? These feelings are completely normal and often temporary in nature.
Prepare yourself
Even if you think you can hardly prepare for the arrival of the baby, there is more possible than you think!
Talk to your partner
Obviously one of the most important aspects of being pregnant together is contact with your partner. The best way to understand her and her feelings is to talk to her and ask what is going on in her mind.
Pregnancy course
Yes, they are really there! Pregnancy courses for both couples and partners alone. In such a course you will have the opportunity to ask all your questions about pregnancy and childbirth and you will learn a lot about the baby. This may make you better able to understand and support your wife. In addition, you have the opportunity to come into contact with other future fathers and their ideas and feelings about pregnancy, childbirth and fatherhood.
Read, read, read
Try to record and remember everything you see, hear and read. Go to the library and collect all the interesting baby and children’s books to get a taste. The more you understand the ins and outs of pregnancy and childbirth, the better you can guide your wife.
Involvement
There is absolutely no need for you to keep a low profile during pregnancy, childbirth and contact with family and friends. In fact, be involved in everything as much as you can and take good care of your wife and baby. Express your concerns honestly, as well as your (changed) needs, such as sex. Discuss it and don’t be ashamed. If possible, go on a midwife visit and draw up a birth plan together in which you record the wishes of you and your wife. And also not unimportant: find out at work what the situation is with parental leave and getting time off for things such as midwife visits.
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