Tantrasex – Tantric sex, eroticism and intimacy

Tantra sex: a ritual that gives another dimension to sexual energy and sexuality. Tantric sex is a mystical Eastern tradition that leads lovers to higher realms of passion and sensuality. Tantric sex is loving through meditation and touch. To become one with your partner on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. Tantric Yoga masters have developed a series of rituals to awaken Sexual Energy and guide it to higher realms. (Note in advance: the word sex should actually be written as sex. Here, the spelling sex has been chosen in the title and the article, for reasons of recognisability, as it is also written this way in most (generally older publications) being written.)

Tantric sex – Spiritual experience

Tantric sex teaches to use the natural power of sexuality to enhance sexual experiences. This in two ways:

  • Improving skill/quality of love making. This is because you learn to better understand and control the operations involved.
  • Learning to use control in such a way that it gives magical power.

In Tantric sex, neither partner has the upper hand: it is about mutual respect; understanding between two people. With tantric exercises you only have control over yourself and your own body . Tantra is more than just sex. It is not only a meeting between bodies, but above all a meeting between minds.

Tantric sex – Positive physical effect

Tantric sex gives you self-control and has positive physical effects, it:

  • stimulates blood circulation
  • burns calories
  • cleanses by sweating out toxins
  • increases endurance
  • increases the ability to make sex last longer. You will be able to work towards an orgasm for longer and experience a completely new experience


Tantric sex

Tantric sex is a mystical Eastern tradition that leads lovers to higher realms of passion and sensuality. It is loving through meditation and touch. It postpones intercourse and devotes more attention and time to foreplay, so that greater sensual ecstasy can be achieved. Tantric sex lets you enjoy lovemaking more.
The ancient traditional rituals indicate that sex has the power to transport thoughts and spirits to heavenly realms. The Yoga masters developed a series of rituals to generate sexual energy and direct it to higher realms, which is called Tantric Sex . Tantric sex appears to give access to full sexual pleasure and magical power. These two facets go together because the subconscious connects with sexual energy flows . This connects loved ones with the divine. All this is based on an ancient tradition of sensuality and physical pleasure.

The power of Kundalini

Tantra is the power of a natural energy that yoga practitioners call Kundalini . This is the electrical stimulation you feel during sexual arousal. Once you master Tantra, sexual arousal can be a very intense and much deeper experience. Kundalini is in perfect harmony with the body because it is generated by your own body. It starts at the bottom of the spine and spreads to adjacent parts of the body. Through certain rituals you can ensure that it travels up your spine and uses the force in the brain. This creates a so-called orgasm of the mind, which also triggers a physical orgasm.

Male and female union

Tantra sees woman and man as two halves of a unity. Kundalini is neither male nor female. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts: the combination of two Kundalinis is greater than the sum of the two parts.

Tantra stimulates the senses

Tantra focuses on physical sensations and increased sensuality. Tantra starts with the five senses:

To see

Seeing is the first sense. The practice of Tantra is simply with the lights on. However, it may be beneficial to blindfold your partner to better focus on the other senses initially and increase non-visual sensations


The second sense is taste. In a tantric ritual, food is always used to stimulate the taste. Food can range from a single snack to an extensive feast. In general, cheese and wine are chosen. Preferably this is only consumed during the ritual

To touch

Touch is the third sense. In tantric touch rituals you often use the thumb and index finger of both hands. The nails should be trimmed for a soft touch. No massage oil is used during tantric sex, because this can lead to a faster climax. And this is not consistent with the purpose of the ritual (although there is special tantric massage)

To smell

The fourth sense is smell. It’s about the unique scent of each other and general hygiene of both partners. Hygiene should of course be present for every tantra practitioner, but washing each other, each other’s hands and a warm, moist washcloth can provide a deeper awareness of each other’s sexuality. The sensual pleasure can be enhanced by, for example, scented candles or incense

To belong

The fifth sense is hearing. A tantra practitioner must listen to the partner’s consent and surrender. It is never the intention for one of the partners to dominate. Tantra is about partners who both really want it. The sensual pleasure can be further stimulated by background music or by the sound of bells or wind chimes.

Tantra rule of one hour

The Tantra masters introduced the one-hour rule because they realized that beginners would not spend enough time mastering tantra and would still opt for instant gratification. This 1 hour rule means that no sexual intercourse or masturbation may take place an hour before or after a tantric ritual. In this way, the mind focuses on a special time and prevents it from becoming an ordinary physical satisfaction. The mind focuses on the constructive energy during the hour before it is to be used. If the energy is controlled during the ritual, the mind remains focused for the next hour.

Start with tantric sex

With tantric sex you can learn that the path to satisfaction can be more pleasant than the end point or the satisfaction itself. It is not about techniques, positions or achieving a certain end goal. Tantra makes sex and sexuality a celebration. It teaches that physical pleasure in yourself and your partner is the key to enjoyment of life and higher consciousness. Tantra is about being, about the moment and the harmony between the male and female energies. It’s not about reaching a climax as quickly as possible. Since the effects of tantra are longer lasting, a fleeting moment of satisfaction will fade more and more into the background. Tantra gives the opportunity to achieve intimacy, unity and harmony with your partner.
It is important that you are both in the mood before the ritual and take plenty of time and space. Choose or create a place that is pleasant for all the senses and where you feel relaxed.

Tantric sex – Principles and rituals

Below are important Tantric principles. It is difficult to make this clear only through text. You have to visualize some things visually. If it appeals to you, it is of course better to watch a book, video or DVD with visual or illustrative explanations.

Honor the partner

The idea is to stand slightly apart. Bend towards each other and look into each other’s eyes. As you inhale, imagine the energy being drawn into the heart. As you exhale, place your foreheads together. It is important to first clear up any mutual misunderstandings and irritations before you continue.

Heart to heart breathing

Look your partner in the eye. Place your right hand on the other person’s heart. As you breathe out, imagine that you are blowing energy into the other person’s heart.

Erotic touches

Feel the sensuality of the touch, really open yourself to it. Get through the “it tickles” giggle. For example, use sensual fabrics, feathers, fingertips and your breath. First gently caress your partner’s naked body with, for example, a feather or silk scarf. Move slowly from top to bottom: from the neck to the feet. Do the same with your fingertips and your breath. This is a ‘giving and receiving exercise’ (which is different from foreplay, by the way).

Honor Yoni and Linga

Feeling comfortable is important for this exercise. Take your time and admire the Yoni : female and Linga : male genitals. This increases the trust and feeling of unity between you and your partner.

Connecting souls

Once you have experienced the pleasure of touch and the union of Yoni and Linga, you are meant to open yourself up to the experience of continued pleasure. Sit in the yab-yom position: facing each other, spines and hearts aligned, sexually connected without movement. Maintain eye contact and focus on all the senses. You then feel that sexual energy connects you with heart, soul and body.


It is important to free yourself from any sense of inequality in your relationship. A tantric relationship is based on equality, where male and female energies come together, with the intention of optimal enjoyment.

Giving and receiving

In tantric sex, one partner is not supposed to take action. It’s about mutual worship, giving and receiving, being and where this being can take you.


One way to keep a relationship in balance is to alternately organize a tantra session and decide which exercises you will do.


In Tantra, meditation is a powerful tool. By meditating you are not distracted and you open your mind to tantric energy. It is important to first create a calm atmosphere; for example, put on a nice CD or burn incense. The image of fire in tantra is symbolic: it burns distraction and negativity. During a fire meditation, stand upright and imagine that a flame is passing through all the energy centers. Imagine the flame going from red to white after each chakra is cleansed and balanced.


Spooning and spooning is a good way to connect with your partner before making love. It doesn’t matter who is ahead or behind. However, you both have to lie on your left side so that the chakras match. Try to breathe simultaneously: the person behind sets the rhythm and imagines his or her energy flowing into the other person’s heart. Then both partners should inhale and exhale at each chakra until they reach the crown chakra.

The butterfly

With the butterfly exercise you focus on the energy in the pelvis and genitals. Lie on your back. Bend your knees and let them fall open. Try to remain relaxed if you feel small vibrations in your thighs. Let the energy flow from the pelvis and genitals to your heart. Make it clear with a gesture that you are ‘offering’ this energy to your partner.

To breathe

The energy between you and your partner circulates by taking turns breathing. The feeling of love for the partner can increase through this exercise. Sit opposite your partner, inhale through Yoni (female genitals) and slowly rock the pelvis back and forth. Let the breath flow into the heart and then send that breath into your partner’s heart. Your partner then inhales your breath through his heart, lets it flow through his energy channels and finally blows it out through his Linga (male genitalia).

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