Millions of housewives are tense. Stress is their daily reality. The daily loneliness, the boring work, the routine, not being appreciated, the same boring and thankless work every day, feeling isolated, having to be constantly available for the family, the low social position, it eats away at many housewives! They are in need, burned out and stressed. Real stress! It’s the hardest job in the world: being a housewife!
What is stress?
Daily reality (including family, work, study) creates moments when we feel tension. The bow is tense for a moment. To perform well, the tension helps to increase our performance. As long as there is relaxation after the tension, there is nothing wrong. We remain in balance. However, if the bow remains tense for too long, or the pressure remains at too high a level for too long, then we are talking about stress.
Characteristics of stress
- Stress leads to reduced performance
- Irritability
- Getting tired, even overtired
- Don’t feel like doing anything
- Listless feeling
- Depressive feelings
- Feel worthless
- Feel underestimated
- Feel invisible
- Physical complaints
Clear stress signal and characteristic
When we get the feeling that we can no longer meet the demands of the environment. Or perhaps even worse: that we can no longer meet our own (imposed) demands.
Causes of stress
The main cause of stress is that we need to make adjustments to, for example, the environment. Adjustments that are not our own. Constantly having to adjust keeps the bow stretched too long and too heavily.
Daily stressful situations and irritations
In general, when we talk about stress, we think of major stressors. It is precisely the little things of everyday life that contain and cause so much stress.
- Irritations,
- Frustrations,
- Feeling unappreciated
- Standing in a traffic jam
- In line for the checkout,
- Being helped every day by extremely unfriendly, rude and even rude store staff
- Boring work that has no challenge whatsoever,
- feeling left out,
- The washing machine breaks down while there is a mountain of laundry waiting,
- The cat is peeing next to the freshly changed litter box,
- The children walk onto the freshly mopped floor with muddy feet,
- The neighbors are always arguing,
- Just when you want to go to bed to enjoy a well-deserved night’s sleep, the baby starts crying, etc. etc.
Small things cause a lot of stress every day
The housewife and mother has to deal with small things every day that contain and cause a lot of stress. And the stress just piles up and piles up Without knowing a healthy release, since very few mothers and housewives do not allow themselves a single moment of good and healthy relaxation.
To value
In the past, a housewife was valued. Now the housewife receives too little feedback, too little positive criticism. The low social position of the housewife in the Netherlands keeps the tension even higher.
Appreciation and motivation
To be and stay motivated, everyone needs appreciation. Also the housewife!
Daily problems of the housewife, causes of pure stress
- That the work is never done
- Feeling of feeling useless
- Feeling and being isolated from the outside world (lack of interesting contacts outside the home)
- Lack of good communication (no one can call that perpetual complaining from the neighbor or the crying of the baby good communication!)
- The repetitive, same boring work every day
- Must be constantly available for the family
- Great need for recognition
Stress of the housewife is underestimated by the family and immediate environment
A very important point; stress among housewives is underestimated. Underestimated by her family, underestimated by her immediate environment, underestimated by those who have a permanent paid job. The problems that the housewife encounters every day and night due to household chores are swept away from the table by hand. Dismissed as nonsensical. Like absolute nonsense. Like whining.
I’m dying, a little more every day, a cry for help:
I feel trapped in my own home. What a thankless life. What a boring life. I’m dying here, a little more every day. The walls are closing in on me. I am never done with my work, never can I say with relief: and now I am done with my work. The constant pressure that the work is never done or will never be done. It just doesn’t work anymore. I’m exhausted, wrecked. I feel empty, so empty!
It is mainly the little things that put a constant pressure on my shoulders: everything is expected of me : the clean towels, that the garbage is taken out on time, that the lights are turned off before we go to sleep, that the door is locked before we go to sleep, that the plants have water, that the children sleep in a clean bed, that the children wear clean clothes, that there is enough detergent in the house, that my husband’s shirts are ironed, that the children’s lunch boxes are filled is that there is fruit, that when everyone hangs out in front of the TV for a long time, I expect all the glasses to be filled, the cookie wrappers to be empty and the breadcrumbs to be wiped off the table. Without a little word of thanks.
Cry for help: Stop Stress by Dr. Marcel Verheyen Millions of housewives in need