We have sex on average once every four days. Yet in many bedrooms people only sleep. Is it bad if the passion disappears from your relationship, even though it is otherwise fine?
Sex in particular is defined as passion. It means literally giving yourself over to each other physically without any brakes.
In a new relationship this all seems to go effortlessly and it is wonderful to see each other and passion, sex and lust are very important at this point in a relationship. Passion distinguishes the new relationship from other relationships you have with your girlfriend, brother or sister, for example.
Between lovers, sex provides physical satisfaction and intimacy. If the relationship lasts a little longer, the novelty wears off and the passion automatically diminishes. Falling in love then turns into love and this in turn includes security and trust. Sex is of course still important, but it takes on a different meaning and becomes less passionate.
What comes after the rose-colored glasses
After about 10 years, the rose-tinted glasses have usually all but disappeared. Maybe there are children or you work a lot and this takes a lot of energy or maybe a routine has simply crept in. The passion is burning on a small pilot light or has completely extinguished.
It is generally not a problem if sex is no longer the first or second priority if both parties have no problems with this and you are otherwise just having fun together.
However, it will be bad if one of the two does experience it as a problem, then you will have to take steps and, if necessary, seek the help of a professional. This also applies if one or both partners no longer feel like having sex for medical reasons.
It may also be that if you have been together for years, the passion is simply over and that sex is no longer necessary.
Necessity of life
But if the familiarity and physicality are no longer there and you have more of a kind of marriage of convenience, then you have to wonder what love for each other still means. The chance that in such a relationship one of the partners will fall in love with another is therefore quite high.
But what can you do when not only the passion, the sex and the intimacy have disappeared? Sex, physicality and intimacy are important: you can make sense of it.
This is how you get out of the rut
- Do fun and new things together. You immediately do something that you enjoy together, which of course also provides food for conversation.
- Make sense, if your partner is in the mood and you are not, then respond to his quotes, often the sense will come naturally.
- Dare to experiment, nice and exciting.
- Communicate about sex, tell each other things that you like and enjoy.
- Strive for quality, if you have been together for a long time it no longer matters how often you do it and the quality is more important.
- Are you too busy: plan it in your agenda.