Being in a relationship: the basics

Relationships: it just keeps people busy. People often forget themselves in a relationship. The relationship itself also sails a long way without a good compass to show the way. What is important in a relationship in which you want to share the rest of your life with someone else? Not only do you talk about each other’s wishes and expectations of the relationship. You also work together on the relationship. Accept the other person as he is and encourage him in what interests him. The most important thing of all is that you remain yourself.

Being in a relationship

  • You in the relationship
  • Give direction to the relationship
  • Each other’s wishes and expectations from the relationship
  • Working together on the relationship
  • The relationship itself


You in the relationship

Initially, it is important that you feel that you connect with the other person and that you feel comfortable with the other person. Even though the relationship is not just about you, but about both of you, this does not alter the fact that you are allowed to be yourself. Don’t sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. Don’t behave completely differently either. You can never keep this up. In the interest of the relationship, it is necessary that not only you can be yourself, but that the other person can also be himself, which is not so easy if you are not on your own terms and you do not accept yourself as you are.

Give direction to the relationship

To be able to be with yourself in a relationship and to accept yourself for who you are, it is very important to consider the following questions:

  • Who are you?
  • Where are you in life?
  • What do you want to achieve in your life?

Many people start a relationship without knowing the answers to these questions. They enter into a relationship blindly, as it were. They just let the relationship happen, without consciously experiencing it and consciously working on it. However, it is occasionally necessary to make adjustments in a relationship. This is called working on the relationship. If this does not happen, the result is that only after years do they realize that his or her life is not going as they wish. The lucky ones are there in time and manage to turn the tide with the same partner. Others are too late and manage to decide to rigorously change course and say goodbye to their partner. However, for many, the question remains what to do next. It is very difficult to shake off that feeling of lost years and look at the relationship with a positive outlook and continue to work on it. So know who you are and what you want in your life.

Each other’s wishes and expectations from the relationship

Don’t just talk to the other person about your wishes and expectations regarding the relationship, but also ask the other person about his. This is a good starting point and lays a good foundation for the relationship. Don’t make it a taboo. It is essential for a relationship to be able to talk openly about this. Only then will it become apparent that you may need to work on certain issues. It goes without saying that not talking can only lead to failure. Talking about it too much is of course also killing. Not all snails need to be salted. A relationship should not be stressful, but relaxed, loving and respectful.

Working together on the relationship

Maintaining a relationship requires commitment from both parties. It is on the basis of equality. No one is above one. And everything is not determined by just one person. Everything is done by mutual agreement. Of course it is important to have the same views on important matters, otherwise the differences will be so great that they will be impossible to bridge. Think of fundamental matters such as your own relationship, a family, the household, relatives, friends, etc.

The relationship itself

Only when you have the previous matters in order can you let the relationship be. What does this mean? A relationship should flow naturally, feel natural and be relaxed. So it should not have a huge impact on your outlook and lifestyle. The following points are very important to keep in mind.

  • In my opinion, it is a misconception to think that you should have the same interests as your partner or that you should be interested in the things that the other person finds important.
  • It is also not necessary to think the same about everything. So having a different opinion on certain things is okay. After all, you have a different frame of reference than the other person.
  • By the way, everyone has their own quirks. Accept each other’s. If it really starts to irritate, keep it open for discussion. So talk about it. Take the other person into account by accommodating the other person. Take each other seriously and show that you understand this.
  • It is more important that the other person can be himself and do his own thing, as he was used to. Let the other person have his or her own worth.
  • It is also a must that you encourage each other in the things that are important to the other. Whether it concerns the other person’s hobby or the other person’s will to develop. Help the other person also feel good about themselves and their lives.

Although a relationship is not a requirement in everyone’s life, a relationship that is loving, respectful and encourages you to be a better person is one of the best things in life . Why go through life alone if you don’t have to? They say there is a lid for every jar, right? So don’t give up hope. With this basis in mind, the further details of the relationship are up to you, but the chance of success has increased.

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