While people without autism take it for granted that they eat with others or go out to eat, this is often much more complicated for people with autism. Because people with autism also suffer from stimuli when eating that others do not even notice. Eating when you have autism or inviting someone who has autism means taking various things into account.
Too greasy, too salty, too much flavor, too little flavor
People with autism respond very differently to stimuli that others do not even notice. This means that they are much more sensitive to many things related to food. Smells can make them nauseous, a sandwich with too much butter can make them vomit, and a glass with a strange smell can cause a dilemma. But the environment also plays a major role. Loud music, smells from outside such as scented candles or incense or many people providing touch that many people with autism do not like can turn such a dinner into a disaster. As few stimuli as possible are therefore important for a dinner with someone with autism. And knowing where those stimuli are for that particular person, because someone who normally makes a great creamy pasta that is experienced as delicious by many people can use it for coffee with someone with autism. It may even make the person feel nauseous or make him or her feel so bad that he or she no longer exhibits social behavior. An unpleasant experience for both parties that could have been avoided.
Eating out with someone with autism: arrange everything well in advance
Many things can still be arranged properly at home. But anyone who wants to go out for dinner with someone with autism would do well to make the right preparations. Make sure you have a restaurant that meets the following requirements:
- A small restaurant where it is not too crowded
- Preferably a space just for that particular group
- A clear program, so you know what time it starts and what time it ends and what will happen that evening
- No view of the kitchen where all kinds of things happen that lead to even more stimuli
- Compose a menu that takes into account sensitivities to smells, textures or certain foods
Criticism of the food: someone with autism can express it bluntly
Someone with autism often criticizes the food that others prepare for them. That criticism sometimes comes out very bluntly and can therefore hurt people. It is often not intended that way, but that is how it works for people with autism. The stimuli that someone with autism experiences is ten thousand times stronger than in people without autism. Imagine that a wine glass in front of you smells like dish soap or fish. And you don’t smell it just a little, but like someone with autism, it smells a thousand times stronger. As you will understand, the disgust is a thousand times greater. It is simply not possible for someone with autism to drink from such a glass. This also applies to foods that they have a strong aversion to. The smell of pork is sometimes very unpleasant for people without autism, but for someone with autism it is much worse. Moreover, because the stimuli are processed very differently, that pork on that plate with that disgusting smell (in that case a disgusting smell for that person) almost becomes an obsession. The only thing left for the person to do is to get the plate away or to walk away themselves. Both seem very indecent, but the person in question has no choice because he or she has no way to simply ignore that food and then just have some lettuce, for example. Every person with autism has certain foods that he or she really doesn’t like. An eating pattern often develops that appears very special to the outside world. For example, someone eats a lot of the same thing, only very healthily or avoids a lot of things. Sitting at the table together while other people talk, laugh and eat is often not easy. Setting rules for talking and eating can help. It is also often wise to give the person with autism a fixed chair, so that this is at least clear.
Walking away from a dinner party
People with autism also regularly walk away from dinner or dinner, simply because they are no longer in control of the situation. It could be the food that makes them nauseous, the environment that is far too busy or certain smells that have far too much of a grip on them. If you have someone around you who often does this, you can tell the person in question to let him or her know when that moment of overstimulation occurs. This can prevent very unpleasant situations.
Eating out for people with autism in Friesland
In Friesland, two friends have taken the initiative to organize a weekly dinner evening for people who are normal to gifted, but all have a form of autism. They organize this in MFC-Ludingawaard in Bilgaard. 12 people can join us per evening. Information about these dinners can be found on www.eataut.wordpress.com.