A great sex life through Tantra

Centuries ago, a way of thinking emerged in the East in which sex and intimacy were considered of great importance. This way of thinking, Tantra, has developed into more than just part of a religion. Tantric sex can improve anyone’s sex life with some simple exercises. Here is a brief description of some of these exercises that can help you bring more intimacy and love back into your relationship.

What exactly is Tantra?

As mentioned in the introduction, Tantra originated in the East. India in particular is seen as the cradle of Tantra. It is based on a sexual energy that exists in everyone and can be stimulated, including through meditation and breathing exercises. So far it seems to come across as vague and new-age, but it doesn’t have to be. After all, meditation is nothing more than a form of relaxation and you don’t have to believe in the idea of sexual energy to see the benefits of Tantra.


Within Tantra, loving yourself is seen as the most important basic principle. A person who does not love himself cannot love others. This also means that you have to take good care of yourself. Everyone knows that this means exercising a lot and eating healthy, but it is also important to take time for yourself every now and then. Meditation can be a great tool for this. Here’s a quick rundown of how to meditate:

  • Go to a quiet area, such as your bedroom. Darken it and make sure you are not interrupted or distracted. So turn off phones, computers and radios for a while.
  • Lie down comfortably, this can be on the bed or on the floor, as long as you are comfortable. If you like, place a pillow under your head. Make sure you are lying completely straight, on your back. You don’t have to stretch or tense any muscles. On the contrary, relax your muscles and find a position that you like.
  • Breathe calmly. You don’t necessarily need to take a very deep breath, or breathe more slowly. Just let your breathing continue as it always does and be fully aware of how you are breathing.
  • Let your muscles relax further with each breath. You can imagine that with every exhalation some stress seeps away from your body.
  • If you like, close your eyes now. Stay focused on your breathing.
  • When your thoughts wander to something that happened earlier that day, or something that is worrying you, just lie there. Notice if your thoughts have wandered and return your attention to your breathing. It’s okay for your mind to wander as long as you notice it and return to the meditation.
  • Now lie down for fifteen minutes or half an hour and watch your breathing.
  • When you have been working for fifteen minutes or half an hour, you will notice that you are calmer and completely relaxed. You can stop now. If you do this daily, you will notice that stress is reduced and you have more vitality and therefore more desire for sex.



Giving each other a massage brings you closer together and provides even more relaxation. In addition, it can be a fun and relaxing way of foreplay.

  • Go and choose a massage oil in the store with your partner. Make sure you both like the smell.
  • Just like when meditating, create a calm atmosphere. If you both like it, put on some music in the background.
  • Have your partner lie on his or her stomach and gently sit over him or her, just behind the buttocks.
  • Put some massage oil on your hands and bring it to a comfortable temperature by rubbing your hands.
  • Now run your hands over your partner’s back. Alternate the direction and amount of pressure you apply. Make sure that everything you do on the left side of the back is repeated for the right side and vice versa.
  • Pay close attention to your partner’s reaction and try to notice when you are pushing too hard and when your partner relaxes the most. This way you learn more and more about what he or she likes.
  • Let the massage last at least fifteen minutes and do not stop it suddenly.


During sex

Tantra is not about the orgasm, it is about the path to it. This means that you should especially take the time for sex. Some other things you should try to think about during sex:

  • Take your time for foreplay. Women in particular need a lot of time to get “in the mood”. So create a good atmosphere and take the time to hug and caress each other. The longer the foreplay, the more excited you and your partner become. This also ensures that the man’s penis is harder and larger than normal.
  • Don’t go all the way inside the woman right away. First go in a little bit, then one thrust deeper. After this, you go in only a little bit but repeat this for a few thrusts, followed by a few deeper thrusts. Keep repeating this, increasing the number of shallow thrusts and the number of deep thrusts. This mainly ensures that the man can delay an orgasm.
  • Do not close your eyes during sex, but continue to look at each other. This increases the intimacy between you both.
  • Keep caressing each other.
  • Don’t “break up” too quickly after an orgasm. Continue to lie against each other and continue to cuddle and caress.



Of course, this is just a brief introduction to Tantric sex. From the tips and techniques mentioned above, you can see that there is nothing new-age about Tantra and that it can improve your sex life, increase the intimacy between you and your partner and that anyone can do it. You will also see that good sex is more than just sex itself, good sex starts with feeling good about yourself and being relaxed.

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