Sexual fantasies within your relationship

It often happens that people have sexual fantasies about people other than their partner during sex, how do you deal with this?

Sexual fantasies, where do they come from?

During sex, you and your partner work towards a climax . At a certain point during lovemaking, people are focused on themselves to reach that “top”. Then it can sometimes happen that a sexual fantasy can give you that final push to reach orgasm. A sexual fantasy always comes from pictures, images or read text. Once upon a time, those “images” were formed and/or stored in your brain. When you have sex, you recall the images you have saved. If you have already had one or more relationships , you may also fantasize about your ex-partner.

Feel guilty or not?

Most people do not see having sexual fantasies during sex as a problem. They fantasize happily, and have the attitude that the partner cannot know what you are thinking about during sex , and there is nothing wrong with fantasizing. But it can happen that you start to feel guilty about the fact that you are thinking about someone else when you have sex with your partner. Fear of discovery by your partner or the question: “what do you think about while having sex” can actually inhibit your sexual freedom. Especially when you think about an ex-partner, guilt can start to play tricks on you. In addition, people who regularly watch porn may suffer from having the same pornographic images in their heads during sex.

Sexual fantasy: should you change that?

If you are someone who wants to keep the relationship completely pure, you really go for your partner and nothing comes in between, it is wise to do something about your sexual fantasies . Sex should be pleasant, casual and uninhibited, and guilt should not be part of that. On the other hand, there are people who have nothing against sexual fantasies or where the partners even tell each other. If you have nothing against it, at least be open and honest about it with each other.
Fantasies about an ex-partner are always much more sensitive, the current partner may have major problems with you fantasizing about your ex during sex. Therefore, try to avoid fantasies about your ex-partner, it may be exciting at the moment, but ultimately it can damage your relationship.

You want it differently, how is that possible?

If you want to change your sexual fantasies, it takes a lot of willpower and practice to start with. It can be very easy and exciting during sex to reach for a ready-made image that is already stored in your head and that you have been conjuring up every time for a long time. During sex, try to conjure up the image of your current partner , visualize his or her body, and try to make your partner part of the fantasy you have instead of the one you are used to fantasizing about. It can also help to explore your partner’s body step by step in your fantasy.
It often happens to women that they use their sexual fantasies to achieve orgasm, because they do not dare to make it clear to their partner what they like and enjoy. Try to be open with your partner as much as possible . If you dare to be open about your fantasies to your partner, something exciting can even come out of it when you let each other be part of that fantasy!

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