Bullying: How can bullying really be tackled?

A child who has been bullied at a young age can suffer from this for a lifetime. Bullying affects a child’s foundation and makes him or her no longer stable in life. But why are children and adults bullied? And what makes children and adults bully others?

The signs that indicate that a child is being bullied

Children often do not tell their parents that they are being bullied. Still, parents might suspect it if they know the signs. The signs that may indicate bullying (but also other problems) include:

  • Different behavior
  • stomach ache or headache
  • The child no longer wants to go to school
  • The child often wakes up during the night and sleeps poorly
  • Nightmares
  • Bedwetting after it had been over for a long time
  • The child goes to school late and returns home quickly after school
  • The child brings few friends with him
  • The child starts stealing candy or money (because the bullies have to do so)


How can parents bring up bullying?

Many children do not tell their parents that their lives have become hell because they are being bullied, because they fear that it will only make things worse. But parents can do something about this themselves. By creating a safe environment for them and by talking to them. Simply asking whether there is bullying at school can cause children to tell whether they themselves are being bullied or whether others are being bullied. If a school then deals with bullying behavior well, the child can count on a discreet manner of handling it. Because a child does not want the school to go straight to the bully and confront him or her. The bullied child is then the informer and that will cost him or her dearly, he or she knows that from experience. A good school ensures that parents can report bullying behavior and also indicate who it is about. The educational institution does not approach the child or parents directly, but deploys the entire school team in such a way that everyone is alert to catching bullying behavior in the act. In this way, the bullied remains out of the picture, but intervention can still be taken. The school must make it clear at that time that bullying behavior will not be tolerated in any way. Yet that is not nearly enough. Behavioral change is needed to stop actual bullying. Special bullying workshops must then point out to the bully that what they are doing is absolutely unacceptable and what the consequences of their behavior are. In such meetings, bullied children should also be given the opportunity to show that they have much more to offer and that this has gone unnoticed until now.

There is a plan behind bullying

There is always a plan behind bullying. That also makes it different from teasing. Because teasing is mutual and there is a balance between two people. By the way, for some people something is still teasing, while for others it has long been bullying. Nowadays there are bullying workshops in which the bully and the bullied have to work together so that the bully finally develops some kind of empathy. The bully learns in a playful way what he causes, because the bully and the bullied are placed in a supervised situation in which they are dependent on each other. Only then does the bully experience that the other person is also a unique person with qualities. And the bullied notices that he finds himself in a different relationship with the bully.

Make yourself bigger and we will draw up a bullying protocol that doesn’t work

Just talking about bullying does not help to change relationships. Bullying protocols alone do not ensure that bullying is eradicated. More is needed for that. Because bullying is about respect, but especially about inappropriate behavior. Someone’s boundaries are not respected, others constantly cross them.

Match the toughest in the class with the least tough

The group process is also of the utmost importance to bring about a change in behavior. Because there is no bullying in a group if there are children who oppose it. The dominant position is then broken. For a bully, it is always about that power. What also helps is to make children more interesting in the eyes of others. If a child suddenly comes up with a special achievement, that is already the case. If children who are not so tough are paired with children who are very tough, the less tough ones also become much tougher. In that case, the interest of a group is worked on. Once that process has started, it is important to let the person who normally bullies feel how you can make someone else feel good, instead of a bad feeling.

The role of teachers

Teachers who identify many issues can play an important role in combating bullying. But unfortunately, they can also be the catalyst for bullying. In every class there are children who are the sweethearts, but also children who are not so loved by a particular teacher. If he communicates this clearly, then such a person will quickly become the laughing stock of the class. Parents should also be alert to this, because such a teacher sets in motion a group dynamic that causes bullying behavior.

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